My mom sent me an email a few days ago with a list of newspaper headlines that don't quite make sense. Who knows if they're really ripped from the pages of our nation's dailies, but they're funny nonetheless. In reading them, you realize how important a good editor really is. Guaranteed to make you giggle.
1. "Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter"
2. "Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says" (Really? How much schooling did that expert get?)
3. "Police Begin Campaign To Run Down Jaywalkers" (A little harsh, wouldn't you say?)
4. "Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over" (What a guy!)
5. "Miners Refuse To Work After Death" (Clearly their work ethic is lacking)
6. "Juvenile Court To Try Shooting Defendant" (Quicker than a fair trial....)
7. "War Dims Hope for Peace"
8. "If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile" (Brought to you by Captain Obvious)
9. "Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures" (The weatherman gets it right this time!)
10. "Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide"
11. "Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges" (You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?)
12. "Man Struck by Lightning: Faces Battery Charge"
13. "New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group" (Weren't they fat enough?)
14. "Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft" (That's what he gets for eating those beans!)
15. "Kids Make Nutritious Snacks" (Do they taste like chicken?)
16. "Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half"
17. "Hospitals Are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors" (This sentence is why I love the hyphen!)
18. "Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead" (Imagine that!)
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