Me, Myself, and I: A Grammar Lesson

Today's post will shed some light on why I decided to name this blog "Lingua Franca." It's because I am enthralled by language, and hyper aware of correct usage of my native language, American English. This means I am also acutely sensitive to grammatical errors in English, particularly those that I see repeatedly.

Last week I witnessed one such recurring error, and I feel compelled to post about it today, to set the record straight for all you who commit this mistake yourselves. The error involves the use of "I" instead of "me." Allow me to explain.

Here's the instruction I received from my boss via instant messenger: "Please cc Matt, Roger, and I on the message you send to Rod."

What is wrong with this message, you ask? The problem is that "I" is a subject, whereas here it is being used as an object. The subject does the action while the object receives the action, or is acted upon. "I" should always be followed by a verb, because I DO SOMETHING.

If "I" is not followed by a verb, because someone else in the sentence is doing the action, chances are, you should be using "me" instead of "I." In the case above, my boss should have said, "Please cc Matt, Roger, and ME...."

For some reason, people get this right when they are only talking about themselves (as in, "Please cc me on your email") but for some inexplicable reason, they experience momentary brain freeze when other names are involved--even though the rule doesn't change just because more than one person is receiving the action. Thus, when in doubt, think about how you would say the sentence if no one else were in the sentence. That is the correct way to say it, even with the other people involved.

I think that in schools we are taught not to use "me" as frequently as children often do, which leads to the other extreme, the overusage of "I," even when it's not correct. If you are guilty of the overuse of "I," please stop now. It hurts my ears to hear it and pains my brain to read it. It's like nails on a chalkboard, scratching our beautiful language. Ouch.

Let's review some examples of when to use "I" and when to use "me" to ensure I am explaining things clearly.

When to use "I" as a subject (notice there's a verb after the "I"--some sort of action being accomplished by the speaker):

Example 1:
-- I want a Barbie for Christmas.
-- Amy and I want Barbies for Christmas.
-- Amy, Emily, Heidi, and I all want Barbies for Christmas.

Example 2:
-- I went to a movie on Friday night.
-- Dave and I went to a movie on Friday night.
-- Dave, Rachel, Ben, and I went to a movie on Friday night.

I think you get the point. "I" is generally used correctly when it's the subject. Now let's look at what is apparently the more problematic case, of "I" being used incorrectly as the object. Notice that in these examples, the person speaking isn't doing anything--the speaker is being acted upon or receiving the action.

Example 1:
-- My mom gave me a sweater for Christmas.
-- My mom gave both my sister and me sweaters for Christmas.
-- My mom gave my sister, her parents, and me sweaters for Christmas.

(Notice that, even though there's more than one person on the receiving end of the sweater, you still use "me".)

Example 2:
-- The university invited me to speak at a conference.
-- The university invited another professor and me to speak at a conference.
-- The university invited three professors, four other students, and me to speak at a conference.

(Once again, the speaker is on the receiving end of the action, which is an invitation, so "me" must be used, even when multiple other people are also on the receiving end of the action.)

As I instruct above, when you are in-doubt about whether to use "I" or "me," think about how you would say the sentence if no one else were in it. That is the correct way to say it, even with the other people involved. After all, you would never say, "My mom gave I a sweater" or "The university invited I to speak" or "Please cc I on your email." So why would you use "I" just because other people are also involved? The rule is the same. You have to let the other people in line ahead of you in the sentence, that is true, which is why "My mom gave me and my sisters sweaters" is not correct, while "My mom gave my sister and me sweaters" is. But notice that you still say "me."

I sincerely hope this little grammar lesson will receive a broad distribution and be taken to heart by all who read it. It is, I'm sure, the first of many instructive posts I shall write on the English language. Please, please, start the new year with a resolution to bring less pain to the ears of your fellow men and women by employing better grammar. I, for one, will thank you for it.